Classic Writing - Media/Downloads
‘Just Be Yourself’ she says…
When any normal woman is asked what men should do to be able to hook up with her, she’ll answer
“Just be yourself!” -
What the HELL does she mean by that?
She means: PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE! DON’T PRETEND YOU’RE SOMETHING YOU’RE NOT!
You see, most every AFC and aPUA “puts on a show” when he’s trying to get into a girl’s pants – he postures and puffs himself up, trying to be ‘impressive’ and present himself in the most attractive ways he can - FROM HIS PERSPECTIVE – by demonstrating that he’s just the way HE IMAGINES any girl would want him to be.
But women can TELL when you’re blowing smoke up their asses - and they don’t appreciate it at all.
Oh, they’ll humor you indulgently, out of politeness, (at least ’til the end of the date) and then say ‘Let’s just be friends!’
OR WORSE YET they might actually BUY what you’re selling, and after they realize you’re NOT fundamentally the way you portrayed yourself, THEY WILL PUNISH YOU – if not by publicly calling-you-out as a liar (to protect their reputation), then through passive-aggressive manipulation throughout an agonizing long-term relationship…
So at the end of your multi-year relationship, when she tells you “You’re not the man I fell in love with!” and you reply with “How can you say that after you’ve spent our entire relationship trying to change me!” – that’s when you’ll have to face the fact that you were NEVER the man she fell in love with – and it’s ALL YOUR FAULT.
The trouble is, for most guys, ‘just being themselves’ leaves them as weak, low-self-esteem/low-self-confidence schlubbs with very little chance of success. Most guys don’t love themselves, and they aren’t happy in their OWN company – why would any woman select to hook up with them?
Question: How can you BOTH “Just be yourself” AND be attractive to women?!
Answer: YOU MUST RECRAFT YOURSELF AS AN ATTRACTIVE PERSON!
…
Sounds like a huge challenge, right? It isn’t.
SO the answer is very simple, and “the Community” is just waking up to this notion, after years of hypnotricks and false-disqualifications, bullshit DHVs and basically lying to get laid…
It’s practically the easiest thing in the world, but it requires recognizing and accepting that THE PROBLEM IS ALWAYS YOU!
So concentrating on your Inner Game is absolutely VITAL to becoming an attractive, compelling, and worthwhile person – the sort whom women AND men will opt to invest their time and energies on… someone people are PROUD is their friend, someone they can rely upon…
Someone who will DESERVE their appreciation and respect, and therefore won’t need to misrepresent themselves at all, nor have to work at keeping their interest!
You see, being WORTHY of their appreciation, respect, friendship, and admiration doesn’t require much at all – You need merely to ACTUALLY BE A GOOD GUY, continually self-improving, appreciating and valuing others, and by demonstrating LOYALTY TO YOURSELF FIRST – so that others will see that you have integrity!
Being WORTHY means you never have to worry that you’re getting more than you deserve – and therefore never having to worry that YOUR LUCK WILL RUN OUT!
If you happen to ‘GET LUCKY’ with some uberhottie who’s ideal for you in every way, and YOU KNOW she’s with you for the wrong reasons, you’ll also KNOWthat she won’t be around long. That’d suck!
As you develop yourself into an interesting, amusing, entertaining, and enlightened man, you’ll find value and interest in most every person of quality – and that will make you VERY ATTRACTIVE to them…
Mark my words: Being truly interested in someone MAKES YOU COMPELLINGLY ATTRACTIVETO THEM! Male OR female – in ‘pick up’ and in every part of life.
Please take a look at my Inner Game Definition, and read it over a couple of times, until every aspect of it makes sense to you;
I am confident that you’ll live much better, and enjoy life much more, once it all resonates and harmonizes within you.
Johnny Soporno
Worthy Playboy
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‘Two Rules’ to happy, enduring Multiple Long Term Relationships
Just in case any of you have read any of my previous threads and wondered where I get off speaking from such a presumption of high-status, with my attitude of sublime confidence, coupled to a self-esteem which at-first might appear arrogant (verging on hubristic!) here’s a little back-story to give you a framework…
I’m 38 years old, balding, heavy-set (think Tony Soprano in the early seasons) fellow who wears Hawaiian shirts most of the time… (see below!)
I am also one of the most experienced and socially-mature Players in The Game.
Despite my looks, not because of them, I do fantastically well with women of all cultures, styles, and idiosyncrasies… “I love the ladies, and they love me right back… Now who’s the Mack?” – Ice T
SO What is my secret? What is the special formula which has facilitated my happy life?
I empower women to make their own choices.
For the last 15 years or so I have generally had a ‘Primary’ GF (with whom I would reside) and usually between three and maybe a half-dozen secondary gfs, in slow-rotation, plus an inestimable number of casual playmates, some of whom might join into the pusse* (stet) from time to time.
To understand my situation, it is vital to recognize the distinction between TITLES (Capitalized) and roles (non-capitalized). The Primary is the one who bears the ‘title’ and role of GIRLFRIEND and may refer to me as her BOYFRIEND, whereas the secondaries all recognize that they can maintain the ‘role’ of girlfriend, and behave with me and towards me as their boyfriend, but that ours is not an overriding relationship.
I used to manage using what I called ‘GITM’ rules (Gays In The Military – Don’t ask, Don’t tell) with my Primary, and the others would respect that they must keep things quiet; but it was always ultimately a losing proposition, because over time the girlfriends would want more, and eventually cattiness and discontent would tear my playhouse down.
About eight years or so ago I recognized the trouble-domain: I didn’t want a harem!
I wouldn’t have ONE Wife, why in the world would I want many!?
So I vowed to myself I would no-longer permit women to live in denial about their rivals; but this made for very uncomfortable situations of nasty infighting, so it needed to be modified once again.
Finally I developed what I refer to as my TWO RULES: model, which has served me very well (incredibly well, actually) ever since the beginning of the millennium.
For ALL the women in my life, from my Primary (with whom I live, and share a bed in Toronto) to the girls I met and slept with last weekend in Los Angeles, whom I don’t know if I’ll see again before year’s end, the TWO RULES are absolute, intractable, inflexible, and adamantine:
Rule One: I WILL BE NO WOMAN’S ONLY MALE LOVER!
Rule Two: Every girlfriend MUST COMMIT TO DO HER BEST to get along with my other girlfriends
These two, very simple, incredibly elegant pillars keep my home happy, my ladies ecstatic, and my sacs drained.
A little more detail, in case the beauty of this is lost on anyone…
Regarding RULE ONE:
Every woman I am with knows IMMEDIATELY (because I tell her outright) that when I’m not with her, I’m with someone else.
Therefore, I need for her to understand that SHE WILL NOT EVER be entitled to unlimited, unrestricted, nor exclusive access to me, and as such she will need to find ways to keep herself amused when I am elsewhere.
No amount of ‘But Baby, I only want to be with YOU!’ will ever shake my resolve, as that situation isa SURE FIRE ROAD TO HELL, when the girl’s resentment begins to perk-up and she becomes a green-eyed monster….
So, by insisting she has other male playmates, I remove A) her justification for being uptight with me when I’m unavailable to satisfy her cravings, and B) I ensure she continually expands her skillset and her expectations, thereby keeping me on my toes, and preventing my complacency.
Regarding RULE TWO:
Since every girl knows I’m getting around, just as they themselves are, and that there are ‘others’, they begin to realize there is no such thing as a ‘rival’ and that cattiness or ganging-up/bashing other girls in the circle won’t help anyone, and will in fact necessitate their own removal from the otherwise very comfortable situation.
This second Rule guarantees a fundamentally harmonious and happiness-conducive lifestyle which has been working for me for the better part of a decade, and shows no signs of slowing down or breaking apart.
Johnny Soporno
Worthy Playboy
P.S. I exclusively date bisexual hotties and have been to bed with most of them with at-least some of the rest of them, in some-or-other permutation.
*Pusse is the feminine-form of posse
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Reframing Rejection & Overcoming Misogyny
An alarming number of men I meet, whether ‘Community’ guys, or just disheartened AFCs, have developed an open hostility towards women – sometimes bordering on genuine misogyny. This is never helpful for anyone, and it ensures an extended or perhaps permanent form of existential misery to anyone who suffers from it.
Whenever I discover these symptoms, I try to root-out the source of their contempt, resentment, and pain – to see if there’s an appropriate way to reframe their situation so that they can benefit from it, instead of wallowing in self-imposed celibacy, or other equally contempt-reinforcing habits.
Most often, I hear the exact same complaints:
I bought her drinks all night, and she left with another guy;
She gave me a phony number;
She never took/returned my calls;
She keeps flaking on me when we make plans…
Or worse still:
I took her for an expensive dinner, a show, a nightcap, and I was all-ready to bring her back to my place – when she told me “Let’s Just Be Friends”;
Or EVEN worse still:
I took her for expensive dinner after expensive dinner, took her out clubbing, shopping, took her on business trips, paid off her Visa bill… – and she told me “Let’s Just Be Friends”!
Now, these guys aren’t suggesting that they developed this ‘hate-on’ for women based upon any of these things happening JUST ONCE – these are the same consistent results they keep getting, time and time again!
So I have frequently tell them this metaphor, to help them reframe their experiences, and to attribute their results to the proper culprits…
You see, I like to go fishing. Every once-in-a-while I’ll go out to a gorgeous, deep freshwater lake I know, where the water is absolutely clear – you can see right down to the bottom!
Let me tell you, his lake is teeming with spectacular fish – I’ll go out there with my simple rod and reel, settle in for a few hours, and pull in all sorts of really impressive catches!
Now, there are some people I’ll notice that will go out to that very same place where I go, hoping to have the same kind of results I do; only these guys will often have gone-out dropped a fortune on gear! They’ll have bought themselves a stylin’ Escalade, with a tow-hitch for their high-powered motorboat… These guys have will have bought premium gear – all outfitted just-right! Expensive, state-of-the-art Teflon rods, LED-augmented lures, pheromonaly-scented worms, whatever!
They’ll go out on the lake, basically to the same place I am, maybe 30 feet away from me… I’ll watch them put their hooks on the line and and their worms on the hooks, and I’ll watch them toss their lines out into the water.
Now like I said, the water in this lake is completely clear, and you can watch everything as the fish swim right up to their line, sniff around for a moment, and then swim away.
Sometimes you’ll see the fish swim up to their line and nibble on the bait -and as the fish are nibbling, the guys will get obvious excited, because they can see the fish too! …and they’ll sit there and watch the as the fish nibble until there’s no bait left, and then simply swim away, disinterested.
Sometimes a really beautiful fish will come by and grab their line, and you’ll see the guys get into position as the fish starts to swim away with the hook, only to watch in depression as the fish breaks the line, and disappears with their bait…
Sometimes they’ll keep the fish on the line, playing it and seeming like their doing things right, to the point where you’ll see the fish come right up to the surface! …and then fall off the line, never to be seen again.
I’ll watch their frustration and angst, as they go about setting their gear up again, precisely the same way as before – and their angry distress at having exactly the same results – time and again.
When any of these guys are there, I KNOW they’ll have been watching me, as I’m making great pulls with ease, and I can see in their eyes that their stares are filled with daggers… So I’ll go up to these guys, in a friendly & supportive way, and ask. ‘Wow, lousy day, huh?’
They’ll reply, hotly: “Oh, those STUPID, EVIL FISH! They’re so manipulative, they’re out to get me, they hate me! They just want my bait, but they know I’ll keep putting more worms out there as long as it looks like I might get lucky!”
The reality, of course, is that they’re fish – and they are doing what’s in their nature… and they don’t hate us; but they are certainly wary of us, and cautious around us… because they don’t want to become anyone’s trophy!
So I say to these guys, ‘Hey guys! You’ve got the right equipment; you’ve got the right bait… but you’re not pulling any fish out of this lake?
IN THAT CASE, THE PROBLEM IS YOU! The fish are here! They’ve been biting all day – it’s whatyou are doing that isn’t working.
Stop looking at the fish like they’re wicked, nasty, evil fish. They aren’t.
They aren’t manipulative, they’re not scandalous – and there’s absolutely no justification to be angry with them.
If you’d been doing things in the way the fish ACTUALLY WANTED, rather than in the ways that you presuppose fish would want, you’d have no-room left in your boat from all the fish!
So take a step back and say ‘Gee, why don’t I see whether or not what I’m doing is the reason I’m not succeeding?’ and stop blaming the objects-of- your-desire for your own inability to pull them in.
Johnny Soporno
Worthy Playboy
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A Definition of Inner Game for newbies and established Players alike
A whole lot of wanna-be Players, Pick Up Artists (‘PUAs’), and Seducers out there have been rushing into the scene in the last year or so, since The Game was released on the unsuspecting public…
It’s tragic to watch as these new entrants into our wonderful Game, instead of ACTUALLY becoming Players, become ‘Playas’; instead of Pick Up Artists, they become ‘Pick Up Technique Zealots’ (‘PUTZs’); and instead of becoming Seducers, they become ‘Womanizers’.
Ironically, although The Game is CLEARLY a condemnation of the jejune and hollow lives of most of its participants, an amazing number of people appear to have missed this message, instead only being intrigued by the notion of getting laid by hotter/more/any women.
In an effort to prevent spiritual and psychological decay amongst the people whom this community most stands to serve, I am going to attempt to frame things in such a way as to help neophytes and experienced participants alike to evolve into this gradually, rather than rushing in like proverbial fools.
Here goes:
“Inner Game” is a convenient euphemism for having a “Satisfied Sense-of-Self”.
The more richly developed you are AS A PERSON, the less crafty and manipulative you need to be as a Player, and the less you need to justify that you DESERVE the playboy lifestyle you have chosen.
Once you wrap your mind around this, everything falls into place:
Inner Game isn’t something you get taught, it isn’t something you study – it’s something you must EARN!
The irony is, ONLY YOU can award it to yourself.
This Self-Confidence is like Freedom: You must EARN it – it can’t be bought, borrowed, or stolen, nor can it be given away.
(When Freedom is GIVEN to you, that’s ACTUALLY abandonment. Think about that!)
By earning your OWN respect, and satisfying yourself that you are becoming more fully-realized with each new experience you have, you begin TRULY to like yourself.
We’re all looking to live as playboys, but there is nothing innately positive about the ‘worthless playboy’ stereotype. Oh, it LOOKS like fun, but it’s empty and shallow…
The paradigm I recommend, alternatively, is “Worthy Playboy” and I elaborate on it further now:
To become a ‘Worthy Playboy’ you must develop yourself as a Renaissance Man; you should endeavour to gain a broad-base of knowledge in areas you believe people who’d interest you will be versed. This will help you to remain interesting to them also; as being interesting is INFINITELYmore attractive than being ‘impressive’.
As a Worthy Playboy, you should be comfortable and confident enough to carry on conversations with women on subjects you have historically known nothing about, by candidly and sincerely encouraging them to share THEIR insights with you.
NEVER FORGET: Everyone’s favourite subject is themselves, and NOTHING makes you more attractive to another person than being INTERESTED in what they have to say.
This works for men and women alike – but women are far more impressed when they receive this attention from men (since most men are usually too arrogant to concede they might not know everything… Schmucks.)
A Worthy Playboy is never ashamed of NOT KNOWING, because A) no one can know everything, and B) women will be DELIGHTED that their knowing something you don’t isn’t intimidating to you – and they will be flattered that you’re man-enough to let them teach something to you.
“Know Thyself” said The Oracle, and that was profound advice - FOR SELF-DECEPTION IS THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL.
Introspectively interrogate yourself to discover WHO YOU ARE as you develop – to ensure you haven’t lost sight of yourself.
Once you KNOW who you are, you’ll know what you’ll do.
IF YOU ONLY DO THE THINGS WHICH MAKE SENSE TO YOU, in which you find yourself BOTH cerebrally and emotionally settled, and where your conscience is unperturbed, YOU’LL BE ACTING WITH ‘REASONED CONFIDENCE’.
This is the rational way of leading your life – by following these internal guidlelines, you’ll NEVER have reason for regret, and no justification for embarrassment, EVEN if things don’t work out immediately! (In such cases, dispassionately step back from the experience, return to the plan to see whether the problem was situational or persistant, and modify as-necessary before trying again.)
By proceeding ONLY with Reasoned Confidence, the only guilt you need EVER feel is the guilt of letting yourself down; the ONLY embarrassment, the embarrassment of making the same mistakes over again; the ONLY regret, the regret of not having come to this epiphany earlier.
Promise yourself regularily, “I will never do anything I wouldn’t do” – and keep that promise faithfully – your internal consistency and congruency depends on it. Your ethical system should NOT have a ‘margin release key’ – that is the road to conscious hypocrisy (See “Self-Deception” above) and is nothing less than personal treason.
Explore your world – expand your horizons, develop new friendships with people of high integrity and ethics, and remain true to yourself and your word. Your relationships and your reputation are your strongest weapons in the battle against psychological misery and emotional defeat – make certain they are solid, just, and dependable as best you can.
As you progess, you will become comfortable that ANY PERSON (man or woman) with whom you interact will feel and be better-off for knowing you [even if it's simply because you proved to them that GOOD MEN still exist, and find THEM interesting] and that they will feel better about themselves because they’ve spent time with you.
What could be a more-attractive attribute to have?
Most of all, YOU MUST BECOME SELF-ACTUALIZED – in other words, you need to find your comfort with yourself based on your confidently and successfully following your own path, and NOT narcissistically through the approval of others.
Permitting yourself to be held-back from progressing because you fear the disapproval of people you don’t admire is MADNESS!
Lead your own life, and conscientiously ensure you make all your descisions with Reasoned Confidence, and when you are met with disapproving or taunting jibes from ‘the peanut gallery’ just take note of it -
then DO AS YOU WILL, and watch as your detractors become your admirers. There’s no arguing with success.
Good luck to you all,
I hope you find value in this.
Johnny Soporno
Worthy Playboy
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The NATURAL Alternative to ‘Rating Women’
This is basically something I presented at the Cliff’s List Convention which seemed to have had the desired effect – Please take into account that this does not address ‘calibration’ or other methodical and procedural jusitifcations for established rating schemes.
I believe this is the NORMAL, NATURAL, and AUTOMATIC ‘attractiveness’ scale which is used in all first-world societies, regardless of gender/sexual preference.
I believe that fundamentally, the TRUE rating-system which normal men and women both use is a four level scale, from zero-to-three.
0 – I WOULDN’T fcuk ‘em.
1 – I COULD fcuk ‘em…
2 – I’D LIKE to fcuk ‘em!
3 – They wouldn’t fcuk me.
This is very elegant in that it requires no external guidelines for definition, needn’t be vocalized, and is, of course, completely subjective. In fact, it’s pretty-much ingrained into everyone from birth.
HOWEVER, once you reach a certain-level of experience in The Game, and have TRULY established yourself as a Worthy Playboy, you realize that there is NO SUCH THING as a category of people who are unattainable. Oh, there are specific individuals who won’t hook up with you, but they might come from the 0 category as readily as the 3′s.
So at that point we can, and will, entirely drop the notion of 3′s – WHOOMP! Gone.
Now there are only three levels…
Much easier!
Of course, by the time you’ve reached THAT level, you’ve also eliminated all memory of ‘sexual desperation’ – It’s so far in your past, you can’t even imagine being hard-up for sexual company, or needing to settle for something less than delightful. In fact, you’d much rather sleep alone that go to bed with someone you’re not attracted to….
SO we can entirely eliminate the notion of 1′s, and there there were two.
VERY simple now, with only two options: YES or NO…
NO – I WOULDN’T fcuk ‘em
YES – I’D LIKE to fcuk ‘em
NOW – sometimes a perfect YES will instant drop to an absolute NO within seconds of meeting them…
For example:
Across the room, this girl is STUNNING, dressed to kill, perfect lips, great body, bedroom eyes… and you make your approach, and she enthusiastically responds with:
“I’m SO glad you’re here, all night long nothing but fcukin’ [severly offensive racial slur here] bastards have been hitting on me all night! Like I’d EVEN TALK TO THEM!”
And (for most of us anyway, I should hope) she immediately throws the switch, drops to a ZERO and we recoil. Damn shame… but instead of thinking “Wow, that was an HB9.5! I can be a hypocrit and compromise myself for a 9.5!” you see her for what she TRULY is – a zero. NEXT!
There are a limitless number of things which can cause a YES to become a NO – sometime immediately obvious, sometimes insidious, but IF the rating changes, it’s time to walk away!
That said, there’s also often something which justifies a transition from a NO to a YES! - Because as mature Players, you no-longer need to be bothered with the concept of WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK of your playmates… You go to bed with people who turn you on & make you happy and proud to be with them, not because other guys will envy you.
The Essence of a Worthy Playboy denies the need for external validation. It is pivitol to establishing the “Worthiness” that they have fully-developed Inner-Game (ie, A Satisfied Sense-of-Self).
Maybe the person in question has changed externally – lost weight, had cosmetic surgery, spend months in the gym, whatever… maybe the person has change internally, recanted from her previous psychotic or otherwise unattractive mindset, and become someone you can enjoy… or maybe YOU have changed and you’ve become more interested in her and her bodyshape matters less than it did before… but IF that switch changes, GO FOR IT.
No one else has ANYTHING to say about whether the object of your affections is ‘hot enough’ for you…
Q: “Why are fat chicks like Mopeds?”
A: “Because they’re fun to ride on as long as nobody you know sees you!”
Now, at THIS level of The Game, you’d NEVER worry about how you’d look in other’s eyes – you just do what makes sense and feels right TO YOU – no regrets!
It’s YOUR LIFE, and YOUR HAPPINESS, and if you’re too weak to follow-up a YES because other people might decide she’s a NO, you’re an idiot. Right?
…And NO Worthy Playboy would EVER look down his nose at someone who’s HAPPY – ‘cuz nothing else matters:
THEY’RE WINNING THE GAME IF THEY ARE HAPPY!
Now, I’d like to remind you all, I’m NOT suggesting that you start dating women who don’t turn you on – not by any means. There’s no happiness in THAT at all.
What I’m ACTUALLY saying is that there’s ACTUALLY a very distinct division between someone you wouldn’t go to bed with, and someone you’d like to go to bed with, and ONLY YOU can decide on which side any particular person exists.
Good Luck! And may you find endless happiness with many subjectively-beautiful playmates!
Johnny Soporno
Worthy Playboy
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Converting Girl Friends into ‘Girlfriends’
I ran this by a giggle of girlfriends who ALL, UNIFORMLY agreed with me – but this ONLY works with REAL friendships… not girls whom you’ve only befriended because you couldn’t get them to sleep with you….
Here goes:
Women want to have fun.
Women love to have sex!
This may include Recreational-Only Sex with MEN THEY KNOW THEY CAN TRUST!
Naturally, anyone they consider truly a friend would fall into that category - BUT NO ONE WANTS TO RISK LOSING A FRIEND!
Therefore most women won’t chance beginning a sexual relationship where there is currently a solid friendship.
THEREFORE IT IS ESSENTIAL that the girl understands she absolutely won’t lose your friendship either way, and that
YOU ARE OFFERING HER SOMETHING - NOT ASKING FOR ANYTHING!
The decision is ALWAYS in her court.
Most women have learned the hard-way that IF they sleep with a guy whom they respect, appreciate, and admire – BUT ARE NOT OVERLY TURNED ON BY – it will end badly, when the guy begins to wish to become their ‘Boyfriend’. They will lose their opportunity to be ‘Just Friends’ with that guy once things sort themselves out, because HIS ego will be bruised and he won’t be able to forgive her for the ‘rejection’ he feels.
IF YOU COMMUNICATE TO A FEMALE FRIEND IN NO UNCERTAIN TERMS:
A ) YOU ARE NOT INTERESTED IN BEING HER BOYFRIEND, nor do you want her as ‘your Girlfriend’ — ‘cuz while the respect/friendship/admiration is there in abundance, the chemistry isn’t a fit – there’s no ‘Romantic Crush’ aspect for how you feel about her – Just true, real, justifiable appreciation, and that’s enough!
B ) YOU ARE ALREADY HER FRIEND which makes her much more important and interesting than just someone you’d like to have sex with – and you wouldn’t change that for the world; BUT…. You are a boy, and she is a girl, and that’s a nice arrangement.
Try saying something like this to her: “You know I would NEVER fcuk-you-over;…But I’d gladly fcuk you over-and-over!”
(I have used this line for a decade with fantastic success – it’s light and cute and funny and reassuring, all at once)
C) YOU DEFINATELY DON’T WANT TO INTERFERE WITH HER PURSUIT OF ‘MR. RIGHT’ nor would you stop persuing and sleeping with other girls… in fact, you’d appreciate any pointers or suggestions which would help your Game, and of course you’ll be more than happy to hook her up with new guys you think might suit her…
D) YOU’RE GOING TO LEAVE THIS WITH HER – and there’s truly no urgency at all – nothing will change between you either way; at least, not negatively! …but you know you’d be a fool not to let her know that you’d enjoy having friendly-fun-without-strings with her, and that she can rely upon you for non-judgemental acceptance.
That last bit, the ‘non-judgemental acceptance’, is a FANTASTIC OFFER for any woman. It guarantees her the security she craves, and relaxes the fears she may have about her reputation’s being damaged by her taking you up on your offer.
You are offering her a ‘FREE PASS’ – because YOU WON’T COUNT!
When she considers the number of guys she’ll admit to having ‘been with’ - SHE WON’T ‘COUNT’ YOU – You’re her FRIEND!
There’s no ‘romance’ there, no chance of a ‘serious relationship’, and no need to write-about you in her diary… YOU SIMPLY WON’T COUNT! REMEMBER, that’s what’s happening here: YOU ARE OFFERING HER SOMETHING SHE WANTS, and at a price she can afford!
(ie, fun sex with someone who will stick around, be loyal (though not exclusive!) and trustworthy, and IS her friend-for-real.)
My comfort in this Frame, the notion that WOMEN LOVE SEX, and would have lots more of it if they felt confident that their partners weren’t going to disappear OR become Cling-ons, is absolute.
One caveat, again – YOU CAN ONLY OFFER THIS IF YOU TRULY WILL REMAIN FRIENDS WITH THE GIRL, EITHER WAY:
She might not immediately accept your offer; she might not agree for months, or until someone she’s seeing flakes on her, breaks up with her, or whatever; or maybe NEVER. But if you are SINCERE, and nothing changes either way between you, you will rise in her esteem and SHE WILL consider it, subconciously as well as conciously.
If you are faking, if you change your behaviour towards her once you make the offer, if you are trying to GET HER rather than offer yourself TO HER, she’ll sniff it out, and you’ll seriously drop in her estimation. Maybe costing you the friendship.
Johnny Soporno
Worthy Playboy
